Mother's Day 2020 - Quarantine Mother's Day. The usual visits wouldn't be happening, so Chris asked all the siblings to come up with some memories of Mom to share ...
Derek's Memories ~
My experience growing up (during my teenage years) was a little different than the rest of you siblings since I came later, and was almost like an "only child" since Shane left on his mission. So, I'll provide some memories from some of those years. :) I remember that Mom would put a "Thought for Today" on the fridge every day. My friends LOVED it. My friend Brian would always come over and hang out in the kitchen and out of the corner of his eye, he would try to quickly memorize the fridge quote. Then he'd suddenly say, "you know Margie - I've just been thinking..." then he'd repeat back the quote from memory as if he had just come up with it. I think Mom appreciated that her thoughts were being seen and internalized. :)
Mom would make homemade bread often (before Dad's celiac diagnosis brought that to a wheat-grinding halt). :) I remember coming home from school during High School (and often having a few friends with me), and Mom would bring out 2 loaves of homemade bread hot out of the oven. I recall that we wouldn't use a knife, but my buddies and I would just use our hands to break off big chunks (juggling them because they were hot and burning our hands) and we'd go through a whole loaf and a half and a stick of butter. My friends loved coming over to eat Mom's homemade bread!
Another memory I have of Mom/Derek time was watching shows together growing up. Being a "nerd" is "cool" now, but when I was a teenager, it wasn't necessarily "cool" to be into Star-Trek. :) Especially if you are watching it with your Mom! Haha! But I remember being secretly really into the new Star Treks. Mom and I watched The Next Generation, Voyager, and Deep Space Nine together. I remember doing homework in my room and Mom calling up "Derek, Star Trek is starting if you want to come watch!" I remember feeling "tool cool," but then I'd hear it start and I'd wander down and watch it with Mom. Fun fact - I recall one of my first crushes being a character called "7 of 9" on Star Trek (of course I never admitted this to Mom!). 7 of 9 was a half-human, half Borg that wore a way too-tight space suit. Fast forward many years, and there is a definite resemblance between 7 of 9 (long blonde hair, blue eyes, big lips) and Danielle. :) I must have a type. :)
I remember Mom doing her exercises to her CD's of "dance music" throughout the house. I imagine these are the same songs she exercises to in her pool now. Haha. I remember a few of these songs: "Let's Hear it For the Boy," and "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun." To this day I smile every time I hear these songs on the radio, as I picture Mom dancing around the house with her arms up, pumping her jams. :)
Mom has always been a sponge of information and learning, and self-improvement. I have always been SO impressed with this. When I was in High School, she would wake me up in the mornings and I'd get ready for school, and do my morning chores (one of which was strangely to make HER bed - haha, to this day, I'm the only person I know whose chore was to make my parent's bed in the morning - but I always just assumed that was something she didn't love to do). :) While I got ready, Mom would walk on the treadmill and watch BYU devotionals. She has always loved to learn, and to be inspired and then share that information with others. Over these years I watched her assemble hundreds of these "Thought for Today" packets for missionaries, for friends and family and others - inspiring them with things that inspired her. I believe this is what led to her website (she had amassed so many resources that she started compiling them online). Her thirst for learning has never stopped. Even in her 70's, she amazingly (and surprisingly) became the family's expert in investing (even with two MBAs and a CPA/CFO). I consider myself a student of personal finance and my knowledge doesn't even approach my Mom's. I've always been inspired by her thirst for learning and her ability to learn new tricks (even at an older age). :)
Sometimes I tell people that when I was growing up, my Mom made me breakfast pretty much every day. Cocoa and Toast, Oatmeal, Spam and Eggs, Waffles, etc. This blows people's minds. I didn't know this was unusual until I went to college and learned that my Mom was the only parent on earth to spoil their kids with breakfast every day. :)
Shane's Memories ~
Riding Bikes: We would often ride bikes as a family, and Mom's bike had a little kid-carrier that Derek would sit in. I loved spending that time together as a family.
I remember going places in Grandpa's RV, and going fishing. Mom wouldn't ever bait a hook, or pull the fish to shore, but she liked doing the rest of it!
She was the "Fluoride Lady" at school. And I hated fluoride! But I guess I needed more of it, as I've had tons of cavities my whole life.
Before my mission, Mom took me to get my wisdom teeth out. After the surgery, on my way out of the office, I ran into a friend who was just coming in for his appointment. We chatted for a while, and then once we left apparently I was trying to convince Mom that I was fine to drive us home. Mom wisely insisted on driving. I have no recollection of my conversation with my friend or asking to drive home.
Once I got a "pink slip" at Woodstock (for tripping a classmate), and I was embarrassed to tell Mom and Dad. So I didn't, but I did keep the disciplinary note in that old toy metal fridge. After the school year was about up, I told her about it expecting to get into big trouble. But she just said I did the right thing by telling her, and she said that if we always do the right thing nothing else matters.
Mom would soak her feet in bucket of hot water (and I think salt). One day, she filled the bucket, put it in front of her recliner chair, and out of habit lifted up the foot rest -- spilling the bucket and all the water. She cleaned it up (which took a lot of time), filled the bucket again, sat down, and AGAIN lifted up the foot rest the second time, spilling all the water once again. I remembered that she was still pretty calm and composed in that situation, which really impressed me.
Conference talks: Mom collected hundreds of conference talks, books, and tons of other material for me to listen to on my way to and from the U. I still refer back to many of things I learned during those commutes.
Mission call: On my birthday when I turned 19, I was expecting my mission call. Really, it should have taken another week, but I thought "wouldn't it be cool if it did come on my birthday?" But I thought there was very little chance of that, figured I'd have another week to invite family and friends over for the opening. But when it went to the mailbox that day, there was the white envelope! I was very excited, but I knew that if I told Mom she'd make me open it sooner than I wanted (because I wanted more people to be around when I opened it). So I shoved it up my shirt, walked back to the house, and Mom asked "Did it come???" I shrugged and said "I guess we need to wait." Then I just went about the normal activities during the day. A while later Mom said "Darn, I was really wishing it would come today, that would have been such a good birthday present". Then I broke down and admitted that it had come, and it was hidden up in my room (I was using the east bedroom while still building my room in the basement). She got so excited and ordered me to go get it and open it right away! I protested, saying at least we should wait for Dad to get home from work, but she insisted so we called Dad on the phone and then opened my call. Mom was excited, but a bit scared of me going to Brazil.
Mom is the best! One of the things that has impressed me the most about Mom is how much she cares about us, even though we're older, married, and have families of our own. She still loves us, prays for us, and does so much to help us -- I am so amazed at how much of her daily activities are dedicated to helping her children and grandchildren.
Jen's Memories ~
Mom was CRAZY for coupons. She got a system to pick up the Sunday inserts from some neighbors who didn't want them. The neighbors would lay them out, then Shane would collect them. Then they had to be cut. And filed. "Filing coupons" was one of my jobs. I actually DID like shopping and appreciated the deals, so I think Mom connected more with me over the coupons (and rebates!) One morning I remember waking up to Mom rushing into my room and practically jumping on my bed, she was so excited and ecstatic. Skaggs Alpha Beta was going to do double coupons again! ;)
One of my favorite meals Mom would make was ... a chicken in the pressure cooker. It would be a whole chicken (I only do chicken breasts now myself) and I'd eat just it, didn't need anything else (except salt of course). My boys actually like this too! Except I don't use a pressure cooker (I'm even intimidated by the Instapot, but those old pressure cookers ... they were a little scary!)
Fruit Leather - did any other family make fruit leather? The table on the deck in back, with the wooden frames and the netting to keep the birds and bugs out. Lift up the frame and peel some off, still hot from the sun. Peaches were a milder flavor, but apricots were more plentiful. We'd experiment with jello and punch to make different flavors. Once, Mom and I even sketched out some "dream frames" ... but they never got built.
Mom didn't have time to be too involved at the schools while we were growing up, but when Derek was the last one left in elementary school, she started to go in, volunteering as "The Library Lady". Don't quote me on the name. She would tell a story to the kids to try and get them interested in a book. As I was a voracious reader, she often had me pre-read from a long list and tell her which ones I liked best (so she only had to read the best ones). She was at the school when the library was having a book sale, and they were getting rid of (gasp) the book "Sonny Elephant". This was my FAVORITE book. After I had left Woodstock, I'd get Shane and Derek to check it out so I could still read it. It is old and out of print, not something I could just buy. Mom bought it ... and it's still in my home library today.
Wendy's Memories ~
Mom was very educationally-minded and instilled within each of us a love of knowledge and learning. Going to college was completely expected. We were encouraged to do well in school and earn scholarships to help pay for our education. This is something I feel like I have passed on to my own children. When we were young, Mom and Dad had an education fund where we could contribute money for our college education and they would match it. She was also involved in our schooling and just learning in general. Mom would often correct our grammar and spelling and she would play word games with us. One game was to see how many homonyms we could come up with. We would also have spelling tests and play around with words in different ways. I still remember having to write an autobiography for a class and Mom suggested that I start it off with "On April 29, 1968 the world was graced with my presence!" I liked it and so that was the way I started my paper!
Recently I was reading in my journal about an experience that happened in July 1982 when I was 14 years old. Donaldsons hired me to weed their entire yard for $10.00. I hated weeding (then and now) but I accepted the job. It was difficult work and I soon realized that I wasn't getting paid enough for the amount of work. Mom must have felt sorry for me and came out to help. We wet down the dirt so that the weeds would come out more easily. It got really muddy in one place and when Mom stepped in it her foot sank about a foot. She was stuck and couldn't get her foot out and when she finally got it out her sandal broke! I was grateful that mom came and helped me when I was overwhelmed with a task. All of the "mud" reminded me of when we would play "muddy mess" in our sandbox. We would put on old swimming suits and dig huge holes in our giant sandbox and then fill them with water. Often we had elaborate sand castles, tunnels, and bridges. We would play in the holes of water and get all muddy and needed to take a bath when we were finished! I am grateful that mom let us explore our creativity in fun, messy ways!
I love how Mom made birthdays a big deal -- but also kept the parties simple. We often had a birthday party both with friends and with family. We had lots of combined birthday parties (and other parties) with the grandparents, cousins, and aunts and uncles. When we were young and had a "friend" party mom would give each of the kids a paper sack to color and that became the party bag for the kids to bring home. I actually continued that tradition for a lot of my children's birthday parties -- cheap and easy -- and they loved it! She would often read the children a story and we would play simple games. When we went to a friend's party we always had a birthday gift covered with taped on candy, which immediately got lots of attention by all the kids there! Mom often got birthday gifts on sale and had a whole drawer full of gifts that we could choose from when we had a birthday party to go do.
We had lots of birthday sleepovers! This is not a tradition we have continued (in this day and age we no longer feel comfortable letting our kids have sleepovers except at relatives houses) but I have fun memories from the sleepovers that Jen and I had with our friends. I also have lots of fun memories of family get-togethers. I am grateful for everything Mom has done through the years to keep our family close! Love you, Mom!
Wendy also wrote up a bunch of memories back in 2003 as well.
Chris's Memories ~
I remember Mom asking me about specifics in my life growing up. She knew what girl I was interested in, what test I was taking, and what afternoon activities I had each day. Because she knew, she could ask those specific questions about my day. I’ve tried hard to do this with my own boys, getting a schedule of their classes and knowing what book they are currently reading, for example.
I remember Mom and I sharing books, even when I was a teenager. I credit her for opening up my life to psychology and life improvement and relationship books. To this day I’m still interested in those type of books!
I remember Wonderful World of Disney on Sundays, 6:00 I think. She would be in her recliner and we would be watching from the floor around her. When a commercial break came, Mom would say, “Ok, everyone up and go brush their teeth! - hurry.” And we would have to hurry to get back before the commercials were over so we didn’t miss any of the show.
Scott's Memories ~
It has been interesting to read the responses. Mom was in different stages of parenting with all of us.
I remember mom working in the small kitchen in the first house we lived in on Ranier Street. I remember the large white appliances and I remember her taking Chris in the stroller for a walk and walking behind. I remember that I had to go to my room if I was bad or if my parents needed a break and looking under the crack below the metal bedroom door and seeing my parents walk around on the wood floor. I remember mom being so nervous when dad would have me stand on his hands up in the air or leave me hanging from the clothes line or the Catalpa tree in the front yard. The Ranier house had a window-mounted air conditioner in the front window and I loved to stand in front of the cold air and mom kept shooing me away – afraid I would freeze my brain.
I remember later after we moved into the Saint Street house than mom took up cake decorating and had all these neat things to play with – disks and tubes and heads. I remember watching the moon landing on the black and white TV while mom was ironing and having her say this was something I would always remember.
I remember going to Church as a family and that the building had green stone and a deep large window well, where I was told I would be placed if I was not reverent. I remember mom wearing wiglets and that she would style them while they sat on a Styrofoam head. I remember mom taking me to Kindergarten at Spalding Elementary and letting the teacher know he should take good care of me or he would be in trouble.
Mom was always busy with the younger kids – there were babies or young children in the house all the time I was growing up and they demanded the bulk of her attention. I figured that was fair as I had her undivided attention for the first two and a half years of my life.
I am amazed at her dedication and investment in making the lives of her kids and grandkids better. She is tireless at transferring the wisdom and knowledge to benefit her posterity. She is a great example. Always faithful.
Thanks Mom for all your continued love and support for us, and for all your grandchildren!
We all love you!
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