Caring for Grandma Zada

This will be backdated to October 23, 2013
Grandma Zada, picture from the Silverado Care Center

After GrandpaRex passed away (April 29th, 2010, at the age of 94½, Mom/Margie and her siblings had been taking turns caring for 92½ year-old GrandmaZada.  On December 29, 2010, Grandma took a tumble on the step down to the living room at Margie and LaMar's home. Margie was pretty sure that she broke her hip since she was in a lot of pain and had osteoporosis. She had to be transported by ambulance (and a fire engine came also) to St. Mark's hospital where she had surgery. For the next three years she would be in a care center.

Dec2010 ... before the fall

Here's some email recaps from Mom/Margie over the years ... (I'm sure I didn't get them all, but enough to capture the memories of what was going on during this time). 

Jan 3, 2011 ...  Mother was transferred Sunday from St. Marks hospital to Silverado Alzheimer's center. She is in the medicare unit for rehabilitation for 100 days, paid for by medicare. They also had a long term care facility there, but it was $8000 a month, so we decided to look elsewhere.  It is a very nice place and seems very caring. They have a "no restraints" policy, and pets are welcome, and workers can even bring their children. They have an outdoor swimming pool and playground.  Visitors can eat meals free with their loved one. They have a few dogs and cats that wander around, and birds in a cage. They have a lot of activities. Her surgery Fri. went well. She is having trouble understanding what all is going on and why she can't get up to the bathroom and why she can't go home. We explain over and over and I type up pages for her to read over and over, but she still doesn't understand. She hardly slept at the hospital. She just seemed very "wired", with eyes wide open. We got her up in a wheelchair to go to the dining room for dinner last night, just 2 days after surgery. Then we played games for a couple of hours and put her to bed. Nelva and Arnold went there today. We will go tomorrow. And Lorrie on Wed.

January 4, 2011 ... I just returned from Silverado, after putting Mother down for a nap. I think she would do well with a nap each day from about 1 or 2 for a couple of hours. They get them going early at 6 a.m., and have breakfast at 8 a.m. Nelva said she was exhausted and fell asleep about 4 yesterday. They said they did get her back up for supper last night at 5. I asked Mother if she had played Bingo at 6:30 last night, but she couldn't remember doing so. But the resident Courtney told me she had won two games and prizes! When I arrived this morning, she had finished an hour of physical therapy. The social worker (Chris--a female) sat at a table with us and got Mother talking and talking about her youth in Fairview. Chris was very nice. Another lady, Yvonne, overheard her and said she was from Sanpete also--an Allred from Fountaine Green. Everyone there has been so nice and helpful and attentive. A new lady ate at our table today, with her daughter (who had just transferred her after a week at Aspen Ridge). I told them I would be having lunch with Mother and requested a meal. I asked if there was a number we could call to let them know even earlier if we knew we would be eating a certain meal with her. They gave me the attached paper. Also attached is the activity schedule for January, so you can print it off and plan to be there for certain activities during a visit. A meal is provided free for a visitor to eat with their loved one. It looks like they prefer 24 hours notice, though have provided it twice for me with an hour's notice and no notice. It saves them having to help the resident. It helps keep the quality of the food good with guests eating it too. The lunch today was very delicious, but Mother would hardly eat any at all. They said yesterday, she had hardly eaten either. She was always such a good eater at our house, I was very surprised. So if any of you want to go visit and have a meal or activity with her, just let me, Merrill, or Nelva know, so we can coordinate our visits. Today we played a couple of games of "war" with a deck of cards and then played Chinese Checkers. She handles both of those well. They are in the game room. I wheeled her to see the birds and the fish tank. The dog Sophie wandered through, as well as a smaller dog, Dakota. Mother thought they were cute. The cat, Pepper, slept on top of a bookcase in the game room. When I asked Mother if she wanted to take a nap, she said, "If I take a nap, you will leave." She's pretty astute at times. I told her yes, I would go home and nap.  I found she was always "a caring understanding mama" and would accept that I had to leave if I told her I was tired and needed a nap or had to fix dinner, etc. Lorrie will visit her tomorrow. 

January 9, 2011 ...  Merrill visited twice yesterday, once with Jason and Josh. I had lunch with her and then took her to Bingo. On the activities schedule, on Saturdays where it says Bingo in Cottonwood, that is in the "Cottonwood Wing or room" on the other end of the building. So pushing her there and participating in Bingo gives you a good chance to see more of Silverado, their residents, and their workers. Mother won two prizes--she chose a small vase, relatively short  (so we can take her some flowers to put in it in her room). She chose a deck of cards for her other prize, so that will be useful. They offer a plate of candy bars or a basket of non-candy prizes for the winners to choose from. Merrill stayed for the ice cream social. They gave him ice cream also.  Then he had them put her down for a nap, which I feel is a good idea to do every day. She didn't eat much at lunch, as usual.  I had ordered a meal. I have had 3 meals there now and been there for others. One I had was very delicious, the others not so. Basic Visiting Schedule for next week (let us know if you can't do it and arrange for a substitute so she will have at least one visitor a day): Today: Sunday: Chris and LaMar will go after Church, play a game with her, stay for the ice cream social, and then have them put her down for a nap. Monday: Lorrie. Tuesday: Margie. Wednesday: Nelva and Arnold. Thursday: We will stop on the way home from downtown around 4:30 or 5. Friday: Lorrie. Since Grandma sometimes doesn't know visitors or remember that she had them, LaMar got the idea of keeping a Visitor's Log for her to read through, so she'll know she has had plenty of visitors. So I started one in a spiral notebook by her bed. I put what I could from memory since last Sunday--you can add what I missed. She seemed to enjoy reading through it. So all of you can mark it down in the notebook when you visit (and maybe explain the relationship--Merrill's boy or Margie's grandson, etc. of those she won't know). Lorrie brought Grandma a beautiful flowering plant for her room. There is now there in her room, a box of dominoes, cards, Yahtzee, and Scrabble. There are a few games in the game room, next to the dining area. They use cloth napkins folded in a fan in the dining room to look more elegant. There is always a bowl of fresh fruit there and a fancy container of ice water and lemons. She is now without the catheter since Friday, and without the oxygen the past few days. Her hair looked pretty flat yesterday. She couldn't remember if they'd shampooed it during her last shower. Lorrie, perhaps you could take a curling iron tomorrow and curl it a little. She's still picking at her lips all the time. She complained a little about her hip when I first arrived, but they brought her a pain pill before lunch and she didn't mention it again. She did complain about her neck hurting (in that same place as she has for many months). They weighed her while I was there--she weighed 114.8 right after lunch. She was 118.6 when they weighed her the Sunday she arrived (I think it was). LDS Church Services are at 10:15 each Sunday, and I think only last a half-hour, as piano music is scheduled at 11. If anyone ever wants to join her and see what that is like. I think it is nice if we try to see what all the different activities are like and then tell us all. Nelva and Lorrie said the Current Events wasn't enjoyable to her--loud and noisy. "One on One's" is just one of the workers sitting and visiting with the residents one on one. That was nice, as the social worker got her talking about her growing up years and Grandma sounded normal as can be and conversed well. Glamor time yesterday morning: I could see they had done her fingernails (I had already done them, so they didn't really need it).  Her hair looked the worst I'd seen it and no lipstick, so I don't know what else they do. She does seem to look at the big screen TV (with closed captions which are helpful to her) in the dining room and comments on what she sees during commercials or during "singing in the rain"--commented on him dancing in the rain. The residents don't seem to be in their rooms except for sleeping.

March 4, 2011 ... Grandma is up and walking--with a walker. They have taken her off all pain medication and said she seems to be doing fine. She will be discharged from the Medicare Unit at Silverado next week. She likes it there, and chose it over going back to live with the 3 of us. We 3 kids visited 3 more memory-care facilities last Saturday and are choosing to move her to Alta Ridge Memory Care on the North side of 8300 South, about 14th East. Nelva wanted someplace closer to her. It seems to be nicer than the extended care side of Silverado, with up to 31 residents, compared to Silverado's 90 or so. We were surprised that it was less expensive also. We've heard good things about it. We will move her bed, and a dresser and a chair this Saturday morning at 10 a.m. to make it more like home for her. Then my turn to visit her tomorrow. The new place won't be quite as close for us, but not too bad. We don't think she could handle the stairs in our homes at this point. We will try to spend even more time with her while she gets used to the new place. We'll probably transfer her on Tuesday. I think she will be happy there, as she was happy at Silverado also. I spent time with her yesterday playing Scrabble. If you ever want to visit her and see the place, I'm sure she would love to play a game of Scrabble with you. It's hard to visit and converse with her otherwise, but she does love to play a game.

March 9th, 2011 ...  Nelva and Arnold transferred Grandma today from Silverado to the Alta Ridge Memory Care Center (Alzheimer's Community) in Sandy. It is 1375 East 9400 South, on the North side of the street, just down from Waterford Private School and not far from Shane and Alicia's former home. Saturday all of us kids and our spouses (except Lorrie who was busy) met at Grandma's and moved a bed, chest of drawers, and chair to her new room. Merrill mounted a couple of her pictures on the wall. So it was all ready and looking nice for her today. Nelva and Arnold ate lunch with her there today in the Bistro--a smaller room with two tables, looking like a little French restaurant, where they put the residents that are more "with it" and don't need help or supervision. You can eat there with her free and with no advance notice (tell them ahead if there is 5-6 people) and they in fact recommend and welcome it. So go visit her sometime instead of going out to a restaurant, and see her room. Play a game with her if you have time--she has several there. She's still pretty good at Scrabble. We'll stop and visit with her tomorrow on the way home from court in Manti with Chris, probably late afternoon or early evening. Grandma's room is room #1. Meals are at 8, noon, and 5, as I remember.

April 6th, 2011 ... Today was our mom's 93rd birthday. Lorrie took out a sheet cake to share with the other residents and workers at the Alta Ridge Memory Care Center. Nelva and Arnold picked Mother up today and we all took her out to the Golden Corral for a birthday dinner. She seemed to remember the place somewhat (we used to go there often with her and Dad and then just her). It will be a year on April 29 since Dad passed away.  She is in pretty good shape physically, though needs her walker to get around. We are glad she can still play Scrabble quite well, or visits would be difficult with her hearing loss and memory loss.

Sep 20, 2011 ... Grandma broke her other hip this morning and will have surgery tomorrow afternoon at 3:30 or 4--poor dear! So it will be a hard few days for all of us since they want one of us with her day and night, which is very hard. She doesn't understand what is going on and wants to get up to the bathroom every 5 minutes! We explain and 5 min. later she asks again. Last time she pulled her IV out 3 times! She hardly slept at all at night there. We just got home. We all rushed to the hospital only to wait and wait and wait and finally see the doctor about 7 p.m. at night! They'll probably release her Friday, when Medicare quits paying. We don't know yet if she will go back to Silverado for a couple months rehab or straight back to Alta Ridge. Nelva is staying with her tonight.  Lorrie will take over by 7 a.m. and then we, or I, will take over at 11:30 a.m. That's as far as we have decided.

Sep 23, 2011 ...  Update on Grandma. She is forever trying to pull out her IV and remove her oxygen and constantly asking to get up and go to the bathroom. She doesn't think anything is wrong with her and can't understand why she can't get up. She has tested positive for MRSA, with a nose swab. I guess it is fairly common in long-term care facilities and hospitals struggle with it. I read that about 1/3 of people carry the bacteria and most healthy people remain unaffected, but it is potentially very serious. So now we, and the hospital personnel, have to put on a gown and gloves when we are there, are supposed to wash often, and go straight home and wash our clothes and not stop anywhere. She seemed more mixed up mentally when I was there last night. She asked me if I was her friend and didn't seem to know me (she had her glasses off though). She kept inviting me to come sleep in bed with her. LaMar came at midnight and stayed to 7:45. He can sleep anywhere, anytime, so doing the night shift is easier on him than the rest of us. He's sweet to do it. We haven't heard from the doctor this morning, so we don't know for sure what's happening. They brought a paper for LaMar to sign that they could do some transfusions because her blood was low in something. Merrill came this morning and then Lorrie took over. We were expecting for her to be released this morning, but don't

know for sure.

Dec 2, 2011 ... Dad and I moved Grandma yesterday from Silverado back to Alta Ridge--it was so sad. She kept asking where Nelva was and said Nelva had never been to visit her (she and Arnold had been there Tues.) Grandma said "Don't they want me here anymore?"  She didn't remember Alta Ridge or any of the people at all and kept asking me every 5 minutes, "Did you say I'd been here before?" She teared up often and said, "I wish I had a home." She kept asking if I knew all these people. She would gently cry and say, "I am just so mixed up." I pray she can be released from her earthly prison soon and quick and painlessly. We played 2 games of Scrabble and started to leave. Lydia at the office said, "Oh, you can't go yet. They are delivering her wheelchair and you have to sign for it or they won't leave it." So we had to stay another hour. We were very tired and emotionally drained by the time we got home last night.

Dec 26, 2011 ... We picked up Grandma about 2:15.  Merrill and Lorrie were there so we were able to exchange gifts with them.  They were heading to St. George today.  We had a nice Christmas dinner and visit at Nelva's with Karie, Gary, and Megan and Randy and his 3 kids.  I think Grandma enjoyed it, especially watching 4 1/2 year-old Brandon playing with his train sets.

Visiting great-grandma Zada

March 22, 2012...Monday morning after my water aerobics, we went to visit Grandma. We played 2 games of Scrabble. They had just moved Grandma's roommate to another room. Hope she can stay alone for awhile, so we can leave the card table & chairs up and not have to put everything away each time. They raised their price by $250 a month, so it costs about $4,000 a month to have her there. It's more for a private room. We stopped at a couple stores and the library on the way home.

Pictures seemed to be more of a priority when cute great-grandkids visited ;)

March 23, 2013 ...  Lorrie called and said the Alta Ridge people talked to her and think itis time to bring Hospice aboard for Grandma. They said her blood pressure has been low and she is down to about 95 lbs. and she needs more help showering, etc. than they can give. They want Millcreek Hospice. Millcreek Hospice wants a family meeting set up to discuss Grandma and their services for her, so Lorrie is trying to set that up this week when all of us can be there.